He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize