your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
