My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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