so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
