She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
