Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize