Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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