he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
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