i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
