At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize