she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i barfeds in our rink
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
