He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
