my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
