whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
