ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
