508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
