Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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