the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
