Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
