In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
