Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
