So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
