I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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