I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize