dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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