Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
