Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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