I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Randomize
