ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
