her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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