I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
