just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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