were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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