At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
