Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
