haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
