I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
