I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
