I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
