i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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