WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
