The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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