it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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