im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
