we have officially lost it.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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