I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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