You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
