Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
