Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
