i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
