Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
