Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Even the bartender felt bad for me
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
