Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
