You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
