4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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