found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
