we have officially mastered the walk of shame
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize