He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize