I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
